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This means different things for different couples, and they tend to feel the same loss that began to weigh heavily on them before the disclosure. The problem is mostly going to be the judgment of others toward both of you. Everyone has an opinion on this. I'm neither your enemy nor your tattletale. For reprint permission, contact us. Dr Nikki Goldstein is a sexologist.

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Guys know what other guys are like. While each couple is unique, these stages can serve as a rough road map for therapists trying to help mixed-orientation couples make sense oftheir feelings, communicate honestly, and ultimately make informed, healthy decisions about their future. For reprint permission, contact us. Should they stay together, or should they separate? Both feel loved unconditionally because they are willing to stay together, even with the sexual orientation differences, and they renew their marriage vows to each other on an emotional level. If you are a straight man who has sex with men, why identify as straight?

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Dr Nikki Goldstein is a sexologist. Guys just want to get off. She goes deeper into the topic of straight men who have sex with men in her new podcast Sex and Life on PodcastOne. What would my wife think? We all have a right to change our minds and go with the flow. Now that I'm out, I realize how much work fooling around with a married man is and I refuse to be the scapegoat for his inability to get real with himself.

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